HANGING OUT WITH JESUS – THE FOREVER FRIENDSHIPS
Smitten By Faith Issue # 000072 16th September 2023
My husband Terry and I just returned from a wonderful 4-day wedding celebration in Bali of Matthew, the son of our good friends from Hong Kong and his lovely bride, Tamara. When Matthew and Tamara took their vows before their Pastor, framed in the beautiful unique glow of the glorious sunset high up at the cliffs of the Kayangan Estate in Uluwatu, West Bali, the happy couple were surrounded by not just their family, but many of their parents’ good friends from all over the world but also their own best friends from school and university. At the marriage ceremony, no one could fail to notice the cheerful and high-spirited camaraderie between Matthew and his 6 handsome grooms-men all togged out in identical batik shirts with their arms wrapped around each other – forever friends - all with the biggest happiest grins on their faces as they witnessed their best friend get married to the girl of his dreams.
Right : Matthew’s 6 grooms-men at his wedding in Bali 2023 – modern best friends from childhood and university.
Left : Icon of Jesus at the transfiguration with his best friends – Peter, James and John - more than 2,000 years ago.
“A friend loves at all times….. Friends love through all kinds of weather. ”
Proverbs 17:17
“So now faith, hope and love abide, these three but the greatest of these is love.”
1 Corinthians 13:13
I was inspired by the love among Matthew and his grooms-men to write this article today about FRIENDSHIP - very special friendships - more than two thousand years ago – that of another man, Jesus Christ and his 3 best friends.
For Christians, Jesus Christ was both divine and human. And so as an ordinary human being having real friends whom he could trust, take comfort from, relax with and depend on, was very important to the historical Jesus of more than 2,000 years ago. Jesus loved his friends and they, him. In the Gospel of Matthew ( 22:37 to 22:39 ) Jesus teaches his followers the importance of love when he asked them to love God with all their heart, their soul and all their minds. And then, to love one another - our neighbours as ourselves.
“…This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends…”
As a boy, Jesus grew up in a very small town called Nazareth in Galilee, a happy childhood with probably – as all little boys have - many little friends and playmates. Now, let’s jump straight to Jesus the man, at the age of 30 years when he begins the short 3 years of his ministry; the period when Jesus ( as the Son of God ) already knew that his time on earth was to be cut short soon; brutally and painfully culminated. During these 3 years, we read in the Gospels about how Jesus travelled all over Galilee and Judea preaching, healing the sick and performing miracles. Such was the power and passion of Jesus’ teachings; his charism; that very soon he had thousands and thousands of followers. How did Jesus the human being cope with all this ? There must have been so many lonely days and nights when in spite of being surrounded by the sea of humanity and his adoring crowds, the tired-out Jesus must have longed for the soothing comfort of real friends who knew him well.
So, did Jesus have friends ? Real men friends who hung out with him; genuine friends who could joke and laugh with him; who believed in him and who also shared his fears and troubles ? Yes, he did. It is clear from all the 4 Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John that Jesus managed to have some great and sincere friendships and camaraderie – among both men and women.
Today, I will write about very close friends of Jesus - three men, all fishermen who were also his Apostles : Peter, James and John.
Below are just some instances from the Gospels regarding this inner circle of Jesus :
At the house of Jairus when Jesus raised the little girl from the dead :
“And when he came to the house, he permitted no one to enter with him, except Peter and John and James, and the father and mother of the child.”
(Luke 8:51)
At the Transfiguration when Jesus was transfigured and became radiant with glory at the top of a high mountain :
“And after six days Jesus took with him Peter and James and John, and led them up a high mountain apart by themselves; and he was transfigured before them…”
(Mark 9:2)
After the last supper, when Jesus went to pray at the Garden of Gethsemane, he asked to be accompanied by only three of his closest friends whom he asked to stay awake and pray with him.
“And he took with him Peter and James and John, and began to be greatly distressed and troubled. And he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch.”
(Mark 14:33-34)
So, let’s now find out more about them – PETER, JAMES AND JOHN – the ‘Forever Friends’ of Jesus.
PETER
Right : Saint Peter; by Peter Paul Rubens (c. 1610–1612) depicting Peter, vested in the ‘pallium’, an ecclesiastical vestment symbolic of papal authority and holding the ‘keys of Heaven’.
Left : The Crucifixion of St. Peter by Caravaggio ( 1601) showing Peter crucified upside down.
Above : Duccio di Buoninsegna ( c. 1308-1311 ) – ‘The Calling of the Apostles Peter and Andrew’
Peter is also referred to as ‘Simon Peter’. He was born as ‘Simon’ and he and his brother Andrew were fishermen who had just pulled in their boat at the Sea of Galilee when Jesus walked over to them and asked them to follow him. Which they immediately did. They dropped their catch; their lives; everything - to go into the deep with this extraordinary man – Jesus. Later, Jesus told ‘Simon’ the fisherman that from henceforth, he would be known as ‘Peter’. Jesus had given him the name of ‘Cephas’ or ‘ Kaypha’ in Aramaic which means ‘Rock’. In Greek, the word for rock is ‘Petros’.
“ And I tell you that you are Peter and on this rock I will build my church and all the powers of hell will not conquer it .”
( Matthew 16:18)
Fifty days ( the Pentecost ) after the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, imbued with the power of the Holy Spirit, it was Peter who became the leader of the 12 Apostles and bravely set forth travelling through Palestine, Asia Minor and beyond where he preached, worked miracles and converted many followers. Why Peter? Why did Jesus choose this impetuous, headstrong, simple fisherman not only to be his close friend but also as the man to lead his church?
Yet, when Peter saw Jesus walk on water in the Sea of Galilee and when Jesus told him to do the same, he sank when walking on water toward Jesus because he lost his faith and confidence. (Matthew 14:22-33).
And, we also have the conundrum between the words uttered by Peter. From his bold declaration to Jesus and the Apostles that he would “never deny Christ” ... to his bitter denunciation and denial later when Jesus was arrested when Peter said, “I don't know the man!”
Jesus himself spoke of Peter’s denunciation before it even happened. And when the event actually took place after King Herod’s soldiers arrested Jesus at Garden of Gethsemane, Peter denied knowing Jesus not once, but 3 times (Gospel of John 18:15-27), after which when the cock crowed, Peter was totally bereft, ashamed and reduced to a weeping mass.
But Peter’s love for Jesus had been clear and forthright from the very moment he met Jesus. Peter’s love for Jesus was unshaken. He had followed Jesus immediately when he called. He always listened intently whenever Jesus preached. Peter believed that Jesus was truly the Messiah. And, after each of his many failures, the always truly repentant Peter returned with an even more passionate desire to continue to follow Jesus Christ. Peter proved that he was indeed the rock. It was Peter’s faith and leadership which made the church invincible. Peter loved Jesus and was loved in return. In spite of Peter’s many weaknesses and his unconscionable denial of Jesus, Peter was forgiven and restored by Jesus. We know that Jesus continued to have faith in Peter when he told him, “Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers.”
In fact, Peter’s humanity and imperfections appealed to Jesus who knows that no one is perfect and that mankind is inherently weak. Peter was the most important apostle among the twelve. Jesus saw that Peter for all his weaknesses was a born leader. Most of all, Jesus loved Peter so much that he was always ready to forgive Peter. Peter was never ashamed to tell Jesus how much he loved him and was always eager to do anything Jesus asked of him; to please him. It would not be difficult to imagine how absolutely distraught Peter must have been not to have been with Jesus when he died on the cross. Later, at the martyrdom of Peter in Rome, he asked to be hanged upside down because he said he was not worthy to die the same way as Jesus Christ.
Peter is regarded as the first Pope of the Roman Catholic church in an unbroken line of the succession of Popes. Saint Peter's Basilica is said to have been built on the site of his grave in Rome.
THE SONS OF THUNDER - JAMES AND JOHN ( the sons of Zebedee )
James and John were the sons of Zebedee – all fishermen too. James was the elder son and John the youngest in Zebedee’s big family. Zebedee was not rich but he had a thriving fishing business and he probably indulged his big family including his two sons, James ( the eldest ) and John ( the youngest ). And yet, when Jesus called James and John to follow him, just as in the case of Peter, the two ‘spoilt’ brothers also gave up everything and followed Jesus, becoming his faithful followers and doing all that he asked. Jesus must have been very fond of them since, as part of what one does when hanging out with our friends, Jesus even gave James and John the nick-name ‘Sons of Boanerges’ ( pronounced as ‘Bo-ner- gees ‘ ) in Aramaic which means ‘Sons of Thunder’ the famous fiery heavenly twins of Zeus, the mythical Greek God of Thunder. The nick names were well bestowed as they captured the fiery passion and evangelical zeal of James and John evidenced one day when they asked Jesus whether they should call down fire upon a village of Samaritans who had rejected him (Luke 9:51–56). For sure, the brothers James and John had impregnable places in Jesus Christ’s heart who loved them both dearly.
JAMES
Left : Saint James by the famous Italian Baroque painter, Guido Reni
Right : The Apostle James by the renowned Dutch painter, Rembrandt who was perhaps the greatest artist of Holland’s ‘Golden Age’ in the 17th century.
James the son of Zebedee or James the Greater was not only one of the 12 Apostles but also, as mentioned, was in Jesus’ inner circle as one of his 3 best friends ( Peter, James and John) who were with Jesus at all the crucial moments of his ministry. After the death and resurrection of Jesus the Apostles travelled far and wide to spread the Gospel. Sadly, very soon into his ministry in 44CE, James was the first of the Apostles to be martyred in Jerusalem when Herod had him arrested and quickly put him to death. Being the earliest martyr, James was also the only Apostle whose martyrdom is recorded in the Gospel in Acts 12:2.
I mentioned earlier that both James and John were playfully called the ‘Sons of Thunder’ by Jesus so they must both have had quite passionate and impetuous temperaments. So that, after the death of Jesus, when the Apostles ( including James ) went out fearlessly to preach all over Judea, Galilee and beyond to Hispania, Italy and Asia Minor. James must have done so with his usual evangelical, fiery zeal and leadership. He must have caught the attention of Herod and the Pharisees who saw the Christians and this particular preacher as a serious threat; and when James returned to Jerusalem from Hispania ( it is believed ), he was quickly arrested and put to death. As the first Apostle to die a martyr’s death, James died young; too soon. Nonetheless we know that even though his life was cut short, the impact of James the Apostle the beloved friend of Jesus was immense.
Interestingly, James is buried - not in Jerusalem where he was martyred - but in the Spanish town of Compostela in the province of Galicia in Spain. In Spanish, the name ‘James’ is rendered as ‘Santiago’. So, there is a famous shrine in Spain called ‘Santiago de Compostela’. As ‘Santiago’, James the Apostle is also the patron saint of Spain, a deeply Catholic European country. How did James get to be buried in Spain ? Legend says that after the brutal execution of James, his disciples took his body, placing it in a boat to sail away. And while adrift in the Mediterranean Sea, Angels guided the boat to the coast of Galicia in Spain where the disciples buried James further inland in Compostela. Today, the ‘Camino de Santiago’ or ‘the Way of Saint James’ is a historic network of pilgrimage routes leading to the tomb of St. James or ‘Santo Santiago’ in Compostela ( where the Cathedral now stands ), the pilgrimage route stretching all along the Pyrenees from France to Spain. More than 300,000 devotees a year walk the Camino de Santiago to pay homage to the tomb of James, this great saint and true friend of Jesus Christ.
JOHN
Left : St. John the Apostle, oil on panel by Peter Paul Rubens; Prado Museum. This wonderful painting of John is one of a series of the 12 Apostles, depicted with their most representative attributes. Here you can see John’s youth in his beardless face and his sensitive and fine features.
Right : Crucifixion of Jesus by Anthony Van dyck at the Louvre Musuem. See the bereft John standing at the foot of the cross with Jesus’ Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene.
In Jesus’ inner circle, of the three men ( Peter, James and John ), it was John the youngest son of Zebedee who can be said to be the ‘best’ friend of Jesus. John who wrote 5 books in the New Testament is mentioned more than 50 times in the Gospels. It was John who was the only Apostle present at the most precious act of sacrifice and love when Jesus allowed himself to be crucified and die on the cross at Golgotha. And it is John who is able to write about this so poignantly in 3:16 of the Gospel of John. It must have been the most heart-breaking moment for this young man who stayed with his best friend and Lord throughout the passion of Jesus and keeping vigil at the cross as Jesus was dying – the only Apostle among the grieving women and Mary, the Mother of Jesus. John was so humbled by the depth of the love of Jesus for humanity that in the Gospel he could not even refer to himself by name but only in the third person singular as “the disciple whom Jesus loved.”
Aside from the many occasions already described earlier when Jesus took John ( and Peter and James ) with him to witness all the critical moments of his ministry, it was only to the bereft and heart-broken John standing under the cross of Jesus just before Jesus took his last breath, that Jesus entrusted his beloved mother :
“Son, behold thy mother; Mother - behold thy son”.
With these words, Jesus gave this young man whom he loved best; John, his greatest friend - the ultimate responsibility of taking care of his beloved mother, Mary. For John to be tasked to look after Mary, the mother of the Son of God must have been such a gift, privilege and trust ; such an honour – a sacred duty and an act of love which John faithfully fulfilled. John later accompanied and settled Mary in Ephesus in Asia Minor ( now Türkiye ). Throughout John’s ministry wherever he travelled -the Mediterranean and Asia minor- he made sure that he returned to Ephesus continuously and frequently to be with his ‘mother’ Mary and he was with Mary to the end.
The firm and unbreakable friendship between Jesus and John was a natural and perhaps obvious one. They were both similar in age. Only 30 years old. Both were unmarried young men and like Jesus, as the artworks show, John was also handsome with fine and sensitive features. Both Jesus and John loved and trusted each other. Yes, as a ‘Son of Thunder’, John too like his brother James probably also had a fiery temperament to contend with but John also had a very likeable demeanour. John was clearly very clever and erudite; able to present teachings with great clarity and conviction. In fact, of the 4 Gospels, it is the Gospel of John who is most able to describe Jesus most lyrically, sensitively, personally and spiritually.
Here is an example of one of my favourite John quotes. In John 14:1-3, he writes about how Jesus comforts his disciples when they fear he will leave them forever. Jesus tells them that he will not abandon them. According to John, this is what Jesus said :
“ Do not let your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in me. In my Father’s house there are many rooms; if it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you ? And when I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.”
Just as all the other Apostles longing to join Jesus in eternal life, John was not afraid of death and he was always ready to die a martyr’s death. However, God had other plans and John was the only Apostle not to be put to death. Although on numerous occasions, John was often arrested and persecuted ( flogged; cast into a cauldron of boiling oil are some instances ), imprisoned and exiled to slave labour ( to the Greek island of Patmos for example ), by the grace of God, he survived unharmed and he lived to the ripe old age (said to be around 100 years old ) and was the last of the 12 Apostles to die, around 98 CE ( a peaceful death). John the Apostle and beloved best friend of Jesus was buried in Ephesus where today, the tomb of John the Apostle and Evangelist and the ruins of the Basilica of St. John at the site of the tomb built by the Emperor Justinian in the 6th century, still continues to draw thousands of devotees.
____________________________________________________________________________
Editor’s Note :
Dear Reader, thank you for reading this edition of SMITTEN BY FAITH. We publish every fortnightly on a Saturday. ALL articles in every issue are FREE.
For those of you who upgraded to be a PAID Subscribers for US$ 60.00 a year, thank you so much ! All proceeds go to the Regina Apostolorum Foundation to promote Catholic higher education.
PAID Subscribers can download the Bitly links to the digital copy of the book by Joan Foo Mahony, ‘LATE HAVE I LOVED THEE’ and THE COLLECTED ARTICLES, VOLUME ONE 2021; VOLUME TWO 2022 and VOLUME THREE 2023 of Smitten By Faith, DIGITAL COMPILATIONS of all the previous years’ 2021, 2022 and 2023 articles.